Child's Pose: Learning to Feel

We begin each session in Child's Pose. In this pose, we start to transition from wherever we were to where we are right now.

We feel the ground, we remember we're in a body, and we begin to breathe more consciously. The intention of yoga is awareness, and Child's Pose is the first step to get still and start noticing what we've been carrying. Perhaps we just notice that our brain has been racing, or we observe that we have been distracted, or that our lower back feels tight. Awareness, to me, has many layers, and one of them is this: choosing to be curious and open, especially to the stories that we personally and collectively live in and hold onto. These stories are like grooves in our mind - patterns and habits that can hold us back from discovering new pathways of exploration. They often feel like places where we get stuck.

One thing yoga has taught me is that - with practice and with time - some of these stories begin to have less influence on our feelings and behavior. Here is one of my stories that I've held fast to since I was a child: If I express my feelings, I may be teased, laughed at, called out as naive, and be taken less seriously. For years, I bought into this equation, masking my emotions and letting them instead burrow deeper. I would rarely share how I was doing; even when you asked, I would tell you I was fine, even when I wasn’t. And, over time, I slowly forgot not only how to express my feelings, but what feelings were actually there. When they crept out of their hiding place, I stuffed them back down.

I can tell you where this story came from, but it’s no longer important. What’s important is it’s just a story. I actually feel very very deeply. And I also know now that if I stuff down sadness, I can’t help but stuff down joy. It all goes together.

If you’ve been to a guided meditation or yoga class, you may have heard this: “The mind is the wind and the body is the sand. If you want to know what the mind is up to, watch the sand.” Connecting to my emotional state - how I'm feeling - is sometimes tricky. I don't immediately have the skill, the language, or the ability to plumb deep and know. But I can start with my physical state. As I take the first pose on my yoga mat, I notice my body -- maybe it's tired or creaky, and maybe it's trembly from stress or fear, and maybe it feels alive in anticipation of the poses to come. This is something to notice and just feel: step one in coming into “here.” Step one into a different type of awareness and care.